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Laverne and Shirley Bash WSIA
By Shawn Fisher

One day, while lounging around in her tacky yellow robe, doing her nails and listening to the radio, Laverne was visited by her friend Shirley. Possessing the short attention span that most CSI students have, Shirley asked if Laverne wanted to go to the mall. “I would love to, but it’s Sunday and the mall closes at six,” replied Laverne.

“That’s not fair, I wanted to spend more of Daddy’s money,” whined Shirley.

Then, hearing a song that’s not on the top forty Shirley asked if she could change the radio station. “You know I don’t listen to anything unless MTV tells me too,” whined Shirley again. After rolling her eyes back Laverne agreed, and the two fiddled around with the radio for a number of minutes listening only to bits and pieces of various pop-fluff songs trying to find that perfect cookie-cutter Back Seat Boys song that’s on New York radio stations. Of course, since radio stations love to edit and re-edit songs until a five-minute tune is only thirty seconds long, the girls were forced to flip endlessly around the dial.

Then suddenly a horrible noise came from the radio. After the nausea and throbbing in her head subsided, Shirley asked if she broke the radio, but Laverne informed her that it was only WSIA the college’s own radio station.

Like all CSI students, Shirley’s apathy for school was quickly revealed as she told Laverne that she never knew they had a radio station. Laverne responded, “Most people don’t, which is why those who work at the station get away with playing the most obscure, incomprehensible, God-awful music on the planet.”
Outraged, Shirley went on a rant about how the DJ’s at the station should be strung up for what they’re playing. “But it’s not on MTV, how can they play anything that hasn’t been on MTV!” ranted Shirley. She went on to tell Laverne how they should join the station, recruit more students and rally to improve the format of the station. So the two worked long and hard for a whole twenty minutes to write out their plans before Melrose Place came on. By the time were done, they were proud of the ideas they developed. Laverne and Shirley swore first thing tomorrow they would go down to the station and shake things up.

One week later, Laverne and Shirley were sitting around doing their nails and listening to the radio. While switching around the stations, after getting, bored Shirley came upon a horrible noise. After finding out that it was WSIA she said someone should do something about the bad format. Laverne just looked at her and sighed….



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